Hoping and dreaming is vulnerable. One minute can be so absolutely exhilarating and it can seem as if the sky’s the limit, while the next can be so absolutely deflating and it all seems just so silly and foolish. I mean it’s quite a mind game and can make a girl real tired.
It can also be confusing. Questions bubble to the surface: Where am I in this story? God, what are you asking of me? What do I even really want?
So, I decided to invite others into the process — to gather a small group of friends together to share my heart and dreams with and receive honest reflections.
As the day got closer though, I could feel how much I wanted to cancel the event. I was having thoughts like: Why are you doing this Lindsay? It’s foolish and nothing will really come of it. This will be a waste of people’s very precious time. Phew. I can sense the tears even now as I write. I must stop and take a breath.
It’s so vulnerable to put yourself out there, this I do know, but I don’t want to give up. This journey’s been worth it, even if nothing more comes of it. Why, you ask? Well, I’ve come to realize a few things along the way:
I love my blog. I love writing and I love sharing myself with others. My blog has brought me such deep enjoyment and great satisfaction. Each week I look forward to writing, creating and posting an entry. It’s a lot of work but it’s so worth it.
My blog and my sharing have been used to encourage and inspire others, and it’s happened in many ways I wasn’t even aware of. It brings me great joy when I get to hear bits and pieces of how God’s used it all to truly bless others. I’m left speechless, speechless and grateful.
I’ve discovered that I really do love the process– the planning, the creating, the cooking and baking, the blessing others — it’s just SO fun for me.
It’s about one small step at a time. I’m called to be faithful. He’ll take care of the rest.
I didn’t cancel, and the gathering was such a huge blessing! It meant the world to me that my friends came to both listen and share. Thank you so much wonderful friends! I received a lot of really incredible feedback that will help me as I move forward.
I also wanted to bless my friends with a treat, so I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies to share. They were absolutely delicious. Everyone raved about them.
The recipe comes from Orangette, a food blog I really do like. It makes one of the best chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever tasted. It calls for a combination of both cake and bread flours so the cookies come out more fat and puffy. It also uses Ghirardelli 60% cacao bittersweet chocolate chips, which are very dark, rich and BIG, and the addition of a light sprinkling of sea salt on top of each cookie just before baking sets these cookies apart. They literally melt in your mouth. YUM!
These are a MUST try, you’ll NOT be disappointed!
I should note, if you’re the type of person who likes to enjoy the cookies right after you make the dough, this recipe will be a challenge for you. The dough has to chill in the fridge 24-48 hours before you bake any cookies, but I promise you that they’re worth the wait!
2 c minus 2 T cake flour
1 2/3 c bread flour
1 1/4 t baking soda
1 1/2 t baking powder
1 1/2 t coarse salt, such as kosher
2 1/2 sticks unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/4 c light brown sugar
1 c plus 2 T granulated sugar
2 large eggs
2 t vanilla extract
1-11.5 oz bag of Ghirardelli 60% cacao bittersweet chocolate chips
Mix flours, baking soda and powder and salt in a bowl, whisk and set aside.
Using a beater on medium speed, mix butter and sugars until very light and fluffy, about 3-5 minutes. Add eggs one at a time and mix well, then add vanilla. Reduce speed to low, add dry ingredients and mix just until combined. Add chocolate chips and mix briefly. Wrap the dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 24 to 36 hours.
Preheat the oven to 350. Remove dough from fridge and allow to soften slightly. Line baking sheet with parchment paper. Scoop small mounds of dough onto the parchment, sprinkle lightly with sea salt and bake until soft, about 15 minutes. Transfer to wire rack to cool for about 10 minutes. Yields about 24 cookies.